If anyone is reading this please pray for little Sadie Davis. She is the sweet, 16 month old little girl of an old friend. She was diagnosed with Acute Meyloid (not sure if that is correct) Leukemia. She has been inpatient at Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital for the past several weeks. She was started in chemo almost immediately. And for the most seemed to be handling everything pretty well until today.
I don’t have any details other than she was taken into emergency surgery this evening.
Please pray for Sadie, mom-Amber, dad-Tim, big brother-Eli and the rest of her family. Also pray for the medical team that is treating Sadie.
Lord, wrap your arms around this precious little one. Keep her safe. Comfort her family. Guide the doctors as they treat her. In your name I pray.
I have had an “ah ha” moment. I haven’t been regularly attending church for quite a while now. If asked I couldn’t really give you a specific reason why I haven’t been going. I just haven’t gone. But my “ah ha” came at 1st Wednesday service a couple of weeks ago. I haven’t been going because I don’t know who I am, where I fit within the body of Christ.
See at 18 years old I started dating my now ex-husband. He was very well known in the church we attended so I instantly became known as “Steve’s girlfriend.” Then when he went into full time ministry I was known as the music guy’s wife. For most of my adult life I have never been just me.
Yes it has been 3 years since we separated but I think I have been so involved in making sure that my kids are ok that I have not taken the time to figure out who I am, where I belong.
I love my church and the people that are part of my church family. Now it is time for me to find my place to be me.
All month on my Facebook page I have been posting things that I am thankful for. I think it is always great to stop for a moment and reflect on all that you have to be thankful for.
Tonight after dinner I was taking care of some laundry (a never ending chore!). The girls were washing & drying the dishes. Yes, by hand. (Our dishwasher broke a couple of months ago but $ is in short supply so it hasn’t been fixed.) As usual they were discussing anime or a book but all of a sudden they broke out in song, singing at the top of their lungs. While it was loud, it put a smile on my face. I am thankful that even though they have their moments when they don’t get along, they are each other’s best friend (even if they won’t admit it ;))
What are you thankful for?
I really miss writing. I have been so busy trying to figure out this single mom thing that I have let
Wow, what you see above is a post I started writing on 8/20/2011, well over a year ago. While I still don’t ever claim to have everything figured out, I do think most of the time I do a decent job at being a single mom. Most of the time. Sure there are days when I lose my patience and yell at the kids for not doing what I have asked them to do. But what parent doesn’t have those moments?
The school year is off to a pretty good start for all three kids. S is in high school now. She is doing well at making new friends. She went to the Homecoming dance and had a great time. She even has a boyfriend now. (that is a whole different post!!)
Well anyway I really do want to get back to writing. It is a great release. See you soon.
This morning as I walked to my van I heard a sand crane loudly calling for its mate. See sand cranes mate for life. Eventually the crane flew right over me alone, calling, crying for its mate to answer. At that moment I was overwhelmed with sadness. Like the crane i thought I had my life partner when I got married 15 years ago. As the day approaches for the divorce to be final I am a bag of mixed emotions. I know without a doubt divorce is my only option. I’m not really going to explain all of the reasons why it is the only option but it is. Divorce is not something i have willy-nilly decided to do. My logical side knows this is the best thing for me. My heart side sometimes reminds me of the things i miss about being married, like having someone to talk to about my day or having someone else do homework with the kids.
But then I turned on the radio and a Taylor Swift song came on that I feel like I could have written. “White Horse” says, “I’m not princess, this ain’t a fairy tale. This ain’t Hollywood.” Those words as so true. For too long I tried desperately to hold onto the fairy tale. A couple of Sundays ago my friend Chaz was preaching and I had an “ah ha” moment. I realized that even though i could’ve walked away from my marriage several years ago if I had at that time i would not have been able to handle this without being a bitter, angry person. I don’t have all the answers but I do know without any doubt that I rest daily in God’s grace. All I can do is daily extend that very same grace to the people around me.
Today I am thankful for grace.
You know how all of a sudden you realize time has just flown by and you look back and say, “wow, that was fast. How did I get here?” That is kind of how I have been feeling lately. Yesterday marked 15 years of marriage. Granted the past year has been spent apart and the divorce papers are signed. But looking back to that day 15 years ago I never in a million years thought I would ever file for divorce. I was going to be the one to have a marriage that lasted. I come from a family with many broken marriages, mostly on my mom’s side of the family. So as I prepared to say, “I do” I just knew that we would be together, “until death do us part.”
Now looking back I can see where things went wrong. I can see where I should have done things differently. I sometimes get stuck in the “what if” trap. That is not a good place to be. I can’t move on with my life and walk the road God has for me if I am constantly looking back to dwell on the past. My heart still hurts from the years of trial. But I hold my head high, resting in the knowledge that God is not finished with me. He has a plan for me and I am ready, willing and able to follow Him.
Today was payday and that always makes Friday that much better! Anyway today was also annual review day at work. I am an admin specialist for an insurance company. I have worked for the company a year and a half now. I started out as a CSR on the phones. About 7 months ago I moved into my current position. I really enjoy my job because I get to help people get their jobs done. I also have been able to learn more about a different part of the company. So today I got to sit down with my supervisor and get feedback about my performance. Those types of meetings always put butterflys in my stomach. But I was very happy when I walked out of my supervisor’s office. I got a raise. Not a go out and be wild kind of raise but an increase is still an increase. The best part was finally have in print that I am good at my job and how I do my work is appreciated by those around me. I got probably one of the best reviews I have ever gotten. And you know what? It was nice. =)
I also received an email about a job that I would love to have and that would pay a lot more than I am making now, even with the raise. The catch? You have to have a Bachelor’s degree. And I have not yet completed my degree. So I think getting that email was the kick in the pants that I needed to finally sit down and figure out my options. Do I continue in the program at Liberty U or do I transfer to a local school? Do I stay with psychology or do I change my major to something like organizational managment? These are questions I have been asking myself for months and still can’t answer. I think part of me is a little scared to choose a path and stick with it. But if there is one thing that I have learned about myself in this past year it is that I can accomplish way more than I have ever given myself credit for.